Naming your boat gives you a rare chance to create a legend – or to seriously embarrass yourself. So before the artist arrives with the gold leaf, put your proposed name through a few sea trials.
For starters, originality counts. Some of today's most overworked names are Seas the Day, Aquaholic, Island Time, Destiny, Serenity and License to Chill. If you can't do better than these overworked old saws, buy an RV. Nobody names them.
Glen JusticeThis boat name seems clever, but it belongs to 139 vessels. It pays to check Coast Guard lists (see link at bottom of story) before making a final decision.Also, ask yourself how much explaining does it need? It may seem precious now to name your boat JaJiJu after your children Jane, Jim, and June, but it will lose its charm after you've explained it 10,000 times.
Some other important considerations:
- Is she here to stay? Not the boat, the girl. Naming a boat after a woman is as risky as having her name tattooed on your bicep. We don't care how cute you are with names like Water Lily, Ocean Pearl or Queen Elizabeth. If your ex is named Lily, Pearl or Elizabeth you won't find another first mate until your transom has been sanded down to the matte and roving, given a new gel coat, and re-named with a hand-carved name board you have permanently bolted to the transom. Stick to generic terms like Beloved, Mi Amore, or Lady Love.
- Stick to Plain English. Oursin (oor-ZAHN) is French for sea urchin but everyone will call it Our Sin. Brisa and Brise mean breeze in Spanish and German but Bris is Yiddish for circumcision. Coco was high-fashion when Chanel was alive. Now it's French slang for communist. Nova is a star, but in some Latin countries it means "no go."
- Eschew obfuscation. Unless you're on a crusade to educate the world that Marduk was the supreme Babylonian god, you'll soon dread having to explain your boat's name to everyone who strolls down the dock.
- Avoid the curse effect. Obviously, you'd be crazy to name your boat Stormy Weather, White Squall, Greased Lightning, Albatross, Titanic II, Water Torture, Out on Bail, or Riptide. Names like Seagull, Osprey, Lonesome Dove, and Peregrine Falcon are self-fulfilling prophecies that assure a lifetime of bird poop all over your deck. Row Vs. Wade can be clever and trendy, but the idea here is to avoid both rowing and wading by keeping your engine and bilge pump in working order.
- Can everyone spell it? Nobody but English teachers can remember how many d's and s's are in Odyssey or where to put the h in Cirrhosis of the River. The only way to remember how to spell Bougainvillea is to have it tattooed on the inside of your wrist where you can refer to it regularly.
- Is it copyrighted or trademarked? Hire a lawyer if you call your boat a copyrighted name like Mickey Mouse, Victoria's Secret, or Lucky Strike.
Glen JusticeWhen it comes to boat names, sailors sometimes get too windy.
