Ahoy there, Mates!

Sometimes tips come from readers – in this case the reader is also a writer and the author of Guide To Pirate Parenting, which is a finalist in Foreward Magazine's 2008 Book of the Year Award.

"Thought your readers would enjoy this two-minute video about raising your kids as pirates. After all, your readers already know how to pilot a ship," says author Tim Bete. "Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite."

The video in question is a trailer for Guide To Pirate Parenting," a how-to book for the parent who longs to raise a brood of buccaneers. For those, not quite convinced of the advisability of the idea, Bete and his muse, Capn'n Billy "The Butcher" Mac Dougall, offer up ten reasons to raise your children as pirates, including "Your children already smell like pirates, so the transition will be easy."

Now who can argue with logic like that?

You'll learn such useful snippets as how to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child's hair, how to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner, the best place to maroon a disobedient child, and when to smack you teenager in the side of the head with an oar. For your further enlightenment, the text is liberally sprinkled with nursery rhymes about pirates. There are even quizzes in each chapter to help you assess your child's progress to piratedom.

The Dave Barry-esque style will keep you laughing throughout.

Bete has authored numerous articles on parenting in newspapers, magazines and on websites. His first book, In the Beginning . . . There Were No Diapers, published in 2006, was a finalist for that year's ForeWord Best Book of the Year. He is also the director of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop.

Guide To Pirate Parenting is available through the author, at Amazon.com or at your local bookstore.

Shiver me timbers, what are you waiting for?

- Linda Hoff